Monday, April 2, 2012

Nameless Existence


Complex tangles of various thoughts
Paralyzed the mind:
From somewhere came the shuddering cry of
A demented mother,
And somewhere tears had evaporated.

Dry, parched throats
That cannot cry out for water,
Seemed a trifling.
Tawdry salons that advocated
The talents of a coiffeur,
Stood out amidst the crowd—
Where many things have been lost.

From the corner of my eye
I saw a red gleam of destitution,
Where squalor was the need of the day.

I walked out alone
On the desolate street at night—
Only the yellow sodium
Shone on the street vis-a-vis.

The green wore a veil of a colour unknown,
And the white were stained black:
A dubious colour of a dubious nature
Transfused the garments within—
Contagious; infectious.

A hard-faced termagant shrieked out from her verandah
To the cacophonous children beneath,
With a purpose unknown,
With a behaviour strange.
Amidst the shattered pathways
Where people treaded day and night,
Goons were bred.

I watched embarrassed faces
Red with shame,
Hiding from the crowd,
And august heads
Conspicuous from anywhere.
I witnessed dust-filled eyes
Staring up at the skies,
And intermittent changes of fortune
Flooding the settlements.

Muddy feet, strange faces, dour eyebrows—
A phantasmagoria of luscious scenes
Pervading the scenario,
And life going on still.

I saw that red gleam once more:
From the traffic lights,
Blinding and awfully bright;
While the yellow never blinked.

Mortified figures stood like
Phantoms of the dark—
Shattered and emaciated bodies,
Gaunt faces, cadaverous looks.

People have died before death.
Death stood gazing at the procession,
Smiling at its power;
But last night people gained life by death,
And the lonely street stood witness to a thousand changes.

By the side of a lake,
I watched a heartbroken soul,
Desiring to die;
By the side of a deep gutter not far,
I watched hundred souls,
Desiring to live.

The sun descends on the far horizon
Away from the shore,
And sailors harking at the windy night:
“I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Time: A Waste.


Time detains me now,
Holds back the staggering trammels of ability,
And crushes the untimely ambition to nothingness.

Hands tied, face red—
Hot at how time was wasted.
I laugh in embarrassment;
Ten fingers conceal the face—
Concealing reality.

Regrets and regrets
That can never be reformed—
Wrongs that cannot be undone.

All the way I sailed in a pond;
When I saw the big sea,
I sailed to the tidal waves—
But I don’t have an identity here,
The ships don’t recognize me.

Time shall flow by smoothly,
And shall whet the wounds of regret.

It’s better late than never.

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Friday, March 9, 2012

FROM DREAMS TO 'REALITY'


From within the desolate stretches of the city,
From where the foul stenches rose,
A jewel of a kind arose.

They called him a poor man’s son—
But was his father alive?
Purposeful indifference had turned him into steel—
A victim of a heartless life.

He grew up in the dingy lanes vis-a –vis the palace,
Where people did not know how ‘pizza’ was pronounced;
A dream to live, a dream to realize—
He had in himself.
But he had never seen roses in all his life,
Only thorns and venom.
Who shall call him a decent man’s son?

He didn’t know what churches were for,
To whom mosques belonged;
A small portrait of a god he had—
The sole receiver of his prayers.

Orphan—shall we call him?
His roots unknown, his stories untold—
He thrived with some others,
Who knew the pain unlike them.

Deprived of a mother after birth,
Lost in the crowds of the city,
He had to make something for himself.

With every morning sun that
Dawned upon the sole ‘window-pane’,
His sights ranged beyond the city limits—
How could he dare to dream?

Where the city was redolent of dirt,
Where the citizens never thought of stepping their feet,
Amid that same dirt blossomed a rose.

Rough, cracked fingers—
Strained by the test of steel
And hardened by indifference;
His palms soiled and feet lacking care—
He hadn’t seen the parvenus
Queuing up at Lindsay Street for a pair of shoes—
Smile wryly: maybe bare feet were enough for him.

Years passed by but life never improved
In those dingy lanes;
Rotten and foul—place or people?
I don’t know: maybe only ‘they’ can say.

When dusk had given way to dawn,
He perhaps dreamt of entering the palace—
Beyond his limits, where desire lead to death—
From dawn until dusk he saw people entering and leaving;
He too wanted to make his position upright.

For the first time he entered the palace the next day;
Awed by the ‘beauty’ and amazed by ‘life’, he again dreamt.
With the help of adulation, he entered the place;
With the company of despondence, he left—defenestrated.
Who desired a ragamuffin amidst the ‘suave’?

It rained heavily that day,
As he watched the drops pelting down hard on the tin roofs—
And the wasted pond’s resonance.
He watched the rain seeping through the roof,
Wetting his belongings—
There was waste water everywhere.

But again he dreamt—
He dreamt of immaculate swans swimming
In heights of ecstasy;
He dreamt of clear water
Sparkling under the sun’s rays
And babbling streams corroding the cliffs.
If ‘God’ had been present, perhaps
We could account his dream to ‘Him’—
Altogether depriving him of thought.
But since the wind here blows the other way,
The dusty scenes seem yet more squalid,
It was not the situation.

Whether it rained brine I do not know.

Every morning he used to watch the
‘Better-Dressed’, ‘Better-Mannered’ boys go to school in their cars—
But perhaps his dreams soared even higher.

Under the scorching heat everyday—
A pencil, scale and an eraser—
He traipsed to the local school.
He hadn’t seen the glamorous heights
Of the city’s top schools, where they forget their origin.

Some years went by in the same dreary routine,
As life hardly changed,
But something happened the other day:
His only uncle passed away of cancer, devoid of care—
It rained brine that day, I know;
The place was flooded again.
Now he had no one who would rear him up—
Orphaned and doomed now.
(‘Now’? I don’t know)

His ‘education’ ended there—
He sought after tea stands and stalls—
Hankering after a living,
He finally learnt to earn twenty a day.
A middle-aged boy now—his dreams continued.
He still dreamt—
He dreamt of working in the hotel vis-à-vis the stand,
Imagined how people might look there.

Berated by the stall-owner,
Smacked by some—
He still dreamt—
Of a sumptuous lunch at the hotel,
Of great dresses he save people wear.

He used to return ‘home’ late in the night—
The pictures of his late parents
And his idol—everything inspired him.

He went to the hotel next day—
Everyone laughed and shooed him away—
He resisted and hurled a stone at the manager:
A whack came within a split second—
And departure and endless sobbing.

He came back to his hut
Only to see its demolition—
‘Their’ Government wanted more skyscrapers to
Beautify the city.

Homeless, parentless, famished—
Tears were no more visible.
His dreams came to a stand-still—
His mind never soared high again.
His ‘education’ was over:
He learnt ‘what life is’.

He went to the tea stall to collect fruitless (is it?)
Reminiscences of his work—
When an immediate ejaculation of rash abusive followed,
Questioning his absence.
He stood silent—
And was dispensed with.

It’s true that he now had no one (or nothing?) to worship.

Night had fallen in
And the poetic stars had decked the night sky;
A boy from the roof of South City looked up at them,
And asked his father, “Dad, aren’t they beautiful!”
Sadly, the boy never looked down.

But the stars seemed as the innumerable miseries of his life,
Beauty and Appreciation—had he ever heard of them?
Why, he wasn’t taught those qualities ever.

He spent the entire night on a footpath;
When he woke the next morning,
His dreams were fulfilled—
He was dancing in the green fields
With his mother who was singing
A song from his childhood—
And he lived happily ever after.

The day’s newspaper reported
An earthquake of considerable magnitude during the night—
Rattled cars, shaken trucks—
Many were buried under building rubble.

The quake had shaken everything it seemed—
But I have something to ask:
Did it shake us?

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A VEIL OF OBSCURITY

Hyperboloids of light lit up a new city—
Strangeness engulfed the scene:
They did not know each other.

Rotten smell of stale chapattis
Flowered like fragrance from a perfume;
The inscrutable shadows peeking
From behind window panes, savoring ‘sanguine’,
And obscure actions going unnoticed.

Strength of some kind was trapped in a cellar—
Hands and legs bound by some hidden force:
Force that could even mould immoveable pillars.

Who is to be blamed in this endless blame-game
That goes on from dawn until dusk?
They do not have winners; they do not have losers.

The child grows up drinking stale milk,
But hardly knows anything of wine.
His vision accustomed to a hackneyed
Rumination that has no good end
And his tongue tried by the taste of iron.

Crowded cities, stashed alleys, and breathless living—
Every night they see a Flying Dutchman
Strolling at the time of their trade
And disappearing into the moonlight—
A grave witness.

Something pricks them at the back,
Yet unknown—standing for an ominous anonymity.

Their sights have been habituated to the
Grey in the sky—
Black nights and black days:
Hardly indistinguishable.

Their existence sometimes trapped
By the clutches of an unknown venom,
The cart moves on still.

I set out witnessing the
Brightness of the concrete jungle—
The glasses reflecting sunlight:
Sparsely letting it in.

Howsoever hard one tries,
The quality of water we drink
Can never be improved—
Although the sun shall continue to rise
And the moon shall still have its light—
We shall keep forgetting what day had been
And what night is.

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Monday, January 30, 2012

O Silent Intruder!


O silent intruder of my dreams,
From where do you hail?
Are you from the babbling waters
Colliding against the rough cliffs,
Or from the densest greenery
That man has ever beheld?

O silent intruder of my dreams,
From where do you hail?
Are you from my native place,
Beside the golden mountains?
Or from the shattered huts of love,
Where man thrives not?

O silent intruder of my dreams,
How do you live?
Do you live by the music of the current
That buffets against the silver shore?
Or do you lie high in the trees,
Silhouetted by the last sunset?

O silent intruder of my dreams,
I bid you: please free me.

Free me, from the endless tangles
Of feelings intertwined;
Free me, from the trammels of life,
Which let not my actions proclaim truth.
Free me, from the barbed wires of memory,
That haunt the lost mind on its journey.

Bound am I by something unexplained—
From the depths of mystery,
From fathoms of complexity,
I strive for it:
“The hill that was close until you reached it.”

The days, the nights, and the twilight—
And the sunrise and me.

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

The 2nd Binnacle Anniversary

Whirlpool of regrets again swirled within the cranium;
A smile decked the lips,
And the surrounding looked still-
With only me pushing ahead.

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Inanimate Life


Lifeless, stood the clayey fetish
At the eastern corner.
Valueless? I asked myself.

They say it’s invaluable,
They say it’s life.
But what eyes have I been born with?
A blur of objects floated before my eyes,
Indiscernible to the banality of logic.

They say it’s the measure of love,
They say it brings you up.
But how do I care?
A carefree life I do lead,
Devoid of the falsity behind idol worship.

They join hands every day,
Every night;
They join hands to pass
The trivialities of life;
And some join hands to get their mother back.

A sense of urgency lingers on,
A sense of compulsion drives them;
They say it’s their dedication.

But time has come for me to speak:
No, it is not dedication.
Something of custom pushes them on,
Rather than the canon of spirituality inside.

Values have been forgotten,
Relations have been discarded,
And lives have ended mercilessly.
What has the lifeless fetish done?
Savored the sanguinary sight?
I don’t know.

They say everything happens for good.
They lie.

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